Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Captain America vs Magneto

Magneto vs Captain America
There’s always one or two of these matches in the first round of a tournament that’s completely randomized; A total mismatch.
Comparisons:
Captain America is a man in great shape with cool equipment. Magneto is a mutant with the ability to control metal and magnetic fields like a mother fucker. Do you know what Captain America’s equipment is made of? Metal. This is one of those matches that you look at and immediately feel sorry for one of the guys; because you know he’s going to get his ass handed to him on a platter made from his own shield. Still, it should be fun to see how he dies and how it impacts the overall story arc.


I like this song, kinda fits the dark/sad atmosphere for Captain America




The Actual Fight
        “What are you doing up there now?” Magneto asked his henchman Toad, who was hanging off of a loose rail above the ruined building they were working in. “I thought I saw Spiderman swinging over the bridge.” Magneto laughed heartily at this. “Just because we’re in New York City doesn’t mean Spiderman is going to deal with us. He doesn’t usually go after supervillians that could tear him apart using the buildings surrounding him.”
        “I don’t know boss, there’s definitely something on top of that bridge looking down at us right now.” Magneto didn’t even bother to divert his attention from the metal he was molding. “If Spiderman wants to come down here and try to stop us, he’ll die immediately, so let him come. You’re supposed to look out for any real threats.”
        “Well if he’s so weak, then I’m going to go up there and take him down myself.”
        “If you’re really that bored than go for it, it’s probably better for him to die now before he tells anyone what we’re doing anyways.”
        With that Toad flew off to take out Spiderman. Magneto wasn’t really worried about anyone trying to stop his plans this early anyways. He’d let Toad have his fun for now.
(10 hours earlier in Washington D.C.)
        Ten men sat around a large table in the Pentagon, all focusing on the large screens in front of them. Captain America sat at the end of the table across from Colonel Johnson. The Colonel spoke first; “As you can see here Mr… uhh, America, sir, these satellite images show Magneto in New York City at the site of the Octavius’ machine meltdown.”
        “What is he doing there?” Captain America asked. “Octavius is dead, and the machine sucked itself into the bottom of a river. Also who’s Magneto?”
        “Um, Captain America, Magneto is the leader of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, and his unique abilities are allowing him to rebuild the machine and make it work again.”
        “Wow, that isn’t good. I don’t see too much of a problem though, I’ll just take a plane over to New York and stop him myself.” Colonel Johnson looked puzzlingly at Captain America. “Well, sir, we were actually hoping that you could contact one of your Avenger buddies and get them to stop him…”
        “What do mean ‘contact my Avenger buddies,’ you don’t think I can do it myself? I’m mother-fucking Captain America motherfucker, and I can take out any little mutant who’s strong enough to bend some metal back and forth. You know what? I’ll just take my own plane to New York City and stop him without your fancy government stuff. Good day sir!” Captain America stormed out of the war room and out of the Pentagon to go and take on Magneto himself.
        Back in the Pentagon, Colonel Johnson stood still, stunned that the greatest symbol of American military power had just signed his own death warrant. He eventually sat back down and put his head in his hands, talking to the man beside him, “why do these superheroes have to be so difficult? I mean, is he even a Captain in the military or what? And if so why do I have to call him sir? I’m a colonel, I outrank him all day.” The man next to him nodded silently. The Colonel then looked up at the people around him and asked, “What are you people even here for anyways?” The man next to him spoke up. “The pies, sir.”
        “Oh yes, can’t have a good pie fight with only one person can you.” He hit a big red button in front of him and stacks of cream pies rose up from the floor as people grabbed and flung them at each other.
(Back in the present)
          Captain America was over where Magneto was rebuilding the machine now. “I’ll show those bastards that you don’t need superpowers to kill someone with mutant powers. Those guys are never that tough.” He jumped out of his plane and pulled his parachute, floating down to the building where Magneto was rebuilding the machine.
        Magneto was done bending the main part of the machine and was now onto the hard part; rebuilding the wiring. This would be a long and arduous process, but it was completely necessary for him to gain control over the world’s energy supply. Just as he was getting the hang of twisting the wires together, Captain America crashed through the roof of the building and unstrapped his parachute, landing on his feet in front of a very surprised Magneto.
        “Your reign of terror is over Magneto!” He yelled as he threw his shield as hard as he could at Magneto, slicing right towards his head. Magneto stopped the shield in midair and looked at the confused face of Captain America, knowing immediately why he was here. “You clearly don’t know anything outside the realm of your own comic books, do you.” He then removed the titanium from Captain America’s armor, causing it to fall apart. The now naked Captain America tried to run, but Magneto quickly bent his shield around his head to suffocate him.
        As Captain America struggled fruitlessly to get the shield off of his head, Magneto went back to twisting the wires together. He chuckled to himself as he heard Captain America stop struggling behind him as he ran out of oxygen and he finally suffocated after 4 minutes of being within his own shield.

Winner: Magneto
Captain America never had a chance, Magneto’s powers allow him to take away all of his equipment, making him completely vulnerable defensively and nearly useless offensively. Even without the magnetic powers, Magneto’s ability to augment his own strength and durability would probably still be enough to take out Captain America.

Old School Results:
Magneto: 996 Kills
Captain America: 4 Kills (He got lucky a few times, these things happen)

Magneto was fixing the wires to the machine when he remembered something. “Toad should be back by now, and I know he’d love to hear about Captain America’s hilarious demise.” He called out for him, but heard no reply. He flew out above the building and looked around, but saw no sign of him. He looked up at the bridge and saw him, but there was no way Spiderman could have done what he saw.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Superman vs The Flash

Superman vs. The Flash
What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immoveable object? I don’t know, but this is probably a great example of such an event.
Also, the format of this is going to be a bit strange since there’s no real way for me to rate these guys out of anything. It’s basically going to be a comparison of their powers and how they can use them against each other, and the fight. Sorry for any lack of in-depthness, but if I was to explain every situation these guys could get in, this tournament would last a year, and there would be no surprises during the fight.


Comparisons
Superman has often been described as indestructible or invincible, which is just untrue. Sure he can take a shitload of punishment and he can dish out just as much as he can take, but he’s up against some of the greatest superheroes in the universe now, and the Flash is undoubtedly a contender. His speed and reflexes far outmatch Superman’s own, to the point that he’ll be able to hit Superman and get away before he can defend himself or retaliate. Superman’s strength and durability are better than the Flash’s though, and he can fly, which is going to be a major advantage against such a proficient ground fighter. He has heat rays as range too, but I can’t see him hitting the Flash with that from anything less than grabbing range, and at that point he could just… you know, grab him and beat him.


 Also, here's some music for your troubles.

(It's Dubstep, so if you can't stand that genre, sorry.)



The Actual Fight

Deep within the bowels of the DC universe, an unknowably powerful being known as Darkseid was hard at work undoing the ties of his most powerful foes; the Justice League. His mind control abilities would serve him well in this endeavor, but he would have to be very careful in who he controlled and how he controlled them in order for him to stay anonymous. “Damn Batman,” he thought to himself. “Not only is he immune to my mind control, he’ll no doubt be able to tell when someone he’s close to is being controlled by me.” He thought about it a little more before deciding to deal with him later, since he had already made a foolproof way to kill either the Flash or Superman; by having them fight each other.
Meanwhile, back on Earth …
It was a beautiful summer’s day in Idaho as the Flash walked down the street; not as the Flash, but as Barry Allen. It was nice to go to a place with so little crime for awhile and simply live. Being a superhero certainly had its benefits, but it seemed like his work was never done when he was wearing his costume, so he decided to take a vacation to the state best known for potatoes and chill for a week. Unfortunately, as is usual for superheroes attempting to take a break from saving people, the sound of gunfire shattered the silence of what was to be his first peaceful day in months.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“Everybody down on the ground now!” The people in the bank all complied as the robber who shouted the order took out a sawn off shotgun and pointed it at the crowd. The woman at the front of the line had already fired off warning shots from her pistol and was now focusing the barrel at the teller. “You know the drill. All the money in the bag, no tricks, or we kill people.” She threw a large bag at the teller as she said this, but the bag never got to the teller.
Standing in between the robber and the teller was the unmistakable yellow lightning bolt of The Flash, and he was smelling the bag. “Hemp eh? You know it’s illegal to carry this in Idaho?” With that remark he subdued the woman and dismantled the gun. The other robber had already grabbed a hostage and pointed his shotgun at her head when Flash focused on him. “You know that if you pull that trigger, I will have taken that girl out of the way and knocked you on the ground before the shell leaves the barrel. I really don’t want to scratch up this nice floor though, so if you put the gun down and let…”
Crash!
Before he could finish his monologue, Superman flew through the ceiling of the bank and landed on the robber, breaking his back. “Superman!? What the Hell are you doing here killing when I had the situation under control!?”
Superman laughed heartily and said, “If you don’t have the balls to kill someone who needs to be killed, maybe you should be considered an enemy.” He shot his heat rays at The Flash, who dodged them easily, but the rays went on to melt the brain of the unconscious woman robber. “What the fuck has gotten into you!?” Superman did not respond, he only flew at The Flash and drove him through the wall of the bank with his shoulder. While in the air, Superman grabbed the Flash and drove him a foot into the cement of the street outside.
Wham!
The Flash sprung up from this hit and got out of the way of Superman’s next smashing blow to where the ground where he used to be. The hit shook the ground enough to cause the nearest building to fall down. Knowing that talking would do him no good against an enraged Superman, The Flash took the opportunity to dart over to him and knock him down, where he gave him a barrage of extremely fast kicks. These hits dazed Superman, and as he went to hit him back The Flash was already nowhere to be seen. Superman flew up into the air and scanned the area with his infrared. He saw the signature streak of heat from The Flash, but he was running away from the town they were in, so he flew after him as fast as he could go.
Superman could not keep up with the Flash for very long, and he soon found himself following the trail of debris left from him running so fast. He noticed that he hadn’t gone near a town, so he figured he was trying to keep the civilian casualties down to a minimum during their fight. While he was flying over a huge field of potatoes, he saw the Flash standing about 10 miles in front of him. As he sped up to hit him head on, The Flash starting running faster than he had ever seen him run around a huge radius surrounding him. He quickly realized what he was doing, but it was too late; he was caught in a 15 mile wide tornado, and it was only getting faster.
He tried to fly out of the storm, but he was hit by a cow on the way out and his cape was sucked into the vortex. It was moving over 800 MpH now, and Superman couldn’t escape as he was mercilessly pelted with debris. He used a tractor to deflect himself back into the eye of the storm, but he found another storm moving even faster in the opposite direction; into which his cape ensured he was immediately pulled into. “Damn this fucking cape to Hell!” He yelled as he tore off his cape and regained control over himself in the middle of the two storms. He landed and grounded himself as he inhaled a huge breath of air and launched it in the opposite direction of the inner storm, calming it immediately. He inhaled another huge breath for the first storm, but he was hit in the face by a fist moving faster than the speed of light and he was forced to exhale and fight The Flash in the middle of the behemoth whirlwind.
The Flash had adopted the tactic of running with the whirlwind and coming out to hit Superman on his way to the other side of the whirlwind to repeat the process. The winds had moved the clouds directly over top of them for miles, so there was no sunlight getting to him in there. “This fight is turning out to be easier than I expected,” The Flash said arrogantly in the whirlwind, just before he was burned in the arm by Superman’s heat vision. He was shooting a long beam in one direction, waiting for the Flash to run into it. The burned arm did little to hurt the Flash, but it did allow Superman to see his heat signature while he was in the storm.
With the knowledge of his location in the storm, Superman darted right at him, pushing them both out of the storm and into the air. While in the air, Superman took Flash by his legs and flew up high into the thermosphere, where he could get direct sunlight. “I’m done playing, you die now.” Superman broke all of The Flash’s limbs and flew as fast as he could towards the ground. The Flash tried desperately to phase out of his arms or allow himself to heal, but Superman’s grip was enough to keep him from doing anything other than watch as he moved towards Earth at an alarming rate.
When they hit the ground, The Flash’s already broken body was destroyed. Superman then delivered the coup de gras in the form of twenty powerful punches directly to his face.
POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW POW


Winner: Superman
Superman’s ability to fly is what allowed him to win. Without that, all of his powers would have been outmatched by the Flash’s ungodly speed and reflexes, which are too much for nearly any being to handle. With flight, he could get away from The Flash’s constant attacks and heal himself, while the Flash had to wait on the ground for Superman to come to him, which is an awful strategy in nearly any situation against a superhuman.

Old School Results:
Superman – 727 Kills
The Flash – 273 Kills
(They don’t have weapons, they have powers, and it’s not like they were defeated from one particular power in particular in any case, so that’s the best I can do.)
With the Flash dead, Superman flew off into the sky and into space. The people who witnessed the landing had made their way over to see the dead superhero in a huge crater. Their cries were intensified by the few who could identify the culprit as Superman. Nobody knew where Superman had gone or why he felt it necessary to commit such a heinous act of injustice after a lifetime of service for the good of humanity. The only thing they knew was that the fastest man in the world was dead in front of their eyes, and no amount of retcons would bring him back.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Round One matches

This isn't the order I'm writing the matches, this is the order they came out of the hat. All I know for sure is that every match is alternating between Marvel and DC fights.

Cyborg vs Green Lantern

Superman vs Flash

Batman vs Martian Manhunter

Captain Atom vs Wonder Woman

Iron Man vs Mr. Fantastic

Magneto vs Captain America

Hulk vs Thor (there will be collateral damage)

Carnage vs Silver Surfer

It may seem strange to have all Marvel vs Marvel/DC vs DC, but it will make sense once the first round ends. I hope.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Marvel Characters

Marvel Characters

Iron Man
Common theme throughout most of this; Recent movie portrayals of these guys are pussies compared to the comic book iterations. This guy is one of those people.
Character Background
One day, billionaire Tony Stark was in Vietnam supervising a weapons demonstration to the U.S. military, when suddenly his site was attacked, he was taken hostage, and he got a piece of shrapnel lodged in his chest. The Vietcong said they would let him live if he built them a super-weapon, which was a lie, and he knew it, but he needed tools and time to build something to escape, so he agreed. During his time, he made a rough draft of what would eventually be his famous Iron Man suit, complete with pacemaker to keep him alive once the shrapnel went into his heart. Once he was finished, he killed all of the Vietcong and escaped to a U.S. base, where they took him back to the U.S. When there, he reduced the size and weight of his pacemaker and suit, increased the weaponry, and became Iron Man.
Powers and Abilities
Without his suit, Tony Stark’s only ability is that he is immune to telepathy. With the suit, he is capable of lifting 100 tons without the help of his boosters (up to 500 tons with them) and he can fly up to Mach 8, which is extremely fast. The suit also has magnetic abilities, which allows him to push and pull most metal objects.  The suit can absorb energy from various power sources to stay active for long periods of time, and can project holograms of itself to confuse the enemy as to his actual location. The suit itself is made of crystallized iron enhanced by magnetic fields and augmented by layers of other metals like titanium. The result is a suit of armor that provides unshakeable defense against everything from tank shells to small nuclear explosions. The suit also has energy shields which further augment its defense, and at full power, literally nothing can pierce through both his energy shields and his suit in one shot. As far as offensive abilities go, his most used power is his repulsor rays, which come from the orbs on his hands. The power of them varies, but they can generally go through multiple inches of steel with ease.  He can also repurpose the energy for his energy shields into a sword for deadly results. He can also throw pulse bolts from his hands rapidly, which is basically a way to throw a lot of energy grenades at once. He also has missile boxes, which contain smart missiles that automatically scan and aim for the weak points of any structure or target. He can even overcharge his armor to boost all of his abilities to obscene levels, but he can cause serious damage to his suit this way. On top of this, Tony Stark is also a genius and master strategist.
Weaknesses
Iron Man’s weakness is that he must keep his suit charged or else he dies. This means that in areas without an easily accessible power source, every attack he makes is bringing him closer to his own demise. At that point it’s a contest of how long you can endure the Iron Man’s attacks, which is not an easy thing to do at all. He can also be stunned by large amounts of electricity, but he will most often simply absorb the electricity and kill you with the extra energy, so bad idea Mickey Rourke.

Thor
He’s a God, with all of the Godly powers that come along with being a God of Thunder. How do you kill a God? You’d be surprised.
Godly Background
Most of you already know about Thor, God of Thunder among many Germanic peoples, and his direct relation to the ultra-god Odin himself. This background, however, will be more focused on his Marvel backstory, since I could write a ten page paper about Thor the God. His eventual assimilation into the Avengers began with his father wanting to teach him a lesson in humility, since he tended to be a “shoot lightning first, ask questions never,” kind of guy. So Odin took away his hammer (the main source of all his power) and erased his memory. He then sent him to Earth to live as a crippled medical student (irony) named Donald Blake. When he was told his identity a few months later (and given his hammer) he had learned to love humanity enough to spend a lot of his time on Earth, still under his fake identity. Eventually he decided his Godly powers could be used for taking out the more supervillainous of people, so he joined up with some other powerful guys and made the Avengers.
Godly Powers
Alright, he’s the 2nd strongest being in the world as far as strength goes, let’s just get that out of the way. He’s been able to stop the Juggernaut, which is basically the one thing that guy has over anyone else. He’s also fast, like the speed of light fast. He can take a hit too… from anyone. His durability is slightly greater than The Thing from Fantastic Four, whose main contribution to that group was his inability to die. He also has extreme senses, able to hear someone cry out on the other side of the planet. While that sounds cool, I’m assuming he can turn that ability up or down a notch depending on the situation, because that would be beyond maddening to hear an entire world happen at once all of the time. He can also create massive earthquakes, beyond that available to the Richter scale, but he never gets too high for fear of destroying Earth. He has also lived a billion years, and has been fighting in Valhalla for most of that time, so he knows his way around a battlefield. His hammer, Mjolnir, has the ability to absorb, project, and reflect energy blasts as well, and he actually has one of the most powerful attacks in the universe; the Godblast. This blast may be able to make Galactus run in terror, but he rarely uses it, and never when he’s anywhere near Earth, which is where all of these fights are taking place, so he won’t be able to use it. He can fly too, but not as fast as he can run, since he can only fly at the speed of sound. His main form of attack is to hurl Mjolnir at his enemy, which is a great way to kill someone, but kinda stupid on his part due to his main weakness…
Godly… Weaknesses
If he loses hold of his hammer for more than 60 seconds, he loses his powers and reverts back to his human guise. This isn’t as dumb as it may seem, since the hammer is enchanted to be unliftable to anyone who is unworthy to wield it, but there are those (*cough* America *cough*) who can pick it up, and anyone who successfully does this and keeps it away from him for 60 seconds automatically wins, since I could fucking kill a crippled med student. Other than this, not much can hurt Thor, but his inability to use his best powers isn’t helping him at all.

Captain America
Name: Captain America
Likes: America, tall chocolate malts
Dislikes: Rainy days, Nazis
Character Background
Steve Rogers was a very frail young boy who grew up during the depression. He was fine living his life until one day he saw a news broadcast about the Nazi regime ransacking Europe and being general douchebags. He decided to join the army, but was rejected because of his small frame. Inspired by Roger’s plea to serve his country, an army general gave him the chance to partake in a secret performance enhancing drug trial called “Operation Rebirth.” The trial was a success, so he was put through three months of intensive military training and sent to Germany to kick Nazi ass. At the end of the war, he was thrown from a plane crash into the icy waters of the English Channel, where he stayed frozen until a newly formed group of superheroes called “the Avengers” found and thawed him.
Equipment and Abilities
Captain America has no true super-human powers; however the drug trial enhanced him to the absolute peak of human conditioning. He can bench 1,100 pounds, has a vertical jump of 20 ft, and can run up to 50 MPH. He is also very durable, able to take punishment that would break most people’s bones and shrug it off like nothing. His senses were enhanced as well, sometimes being able to dodge bullets because he can see faster than they move (although that’s also a testament to his agility.) His training combined with his mental enhancements allowed him to master multiple martial arts in a matter of months, making him deadly in close combat. He is immune to mind control as well, and is proficient in all kinds of weaponry, including everything from swords to firearms, even though he prefers to use only one weapon while in combat; his shield. It may seem strange to use a shield as a primary weapon, but he can throw this thing like a motherfucker. He could use it like a boomerang to hit enemies from behind and return to him, or have it ricochet from enemy to enemy; taking down many at once, and that was before Tony Stark got a hold of the shield and allowed it to be controlled remotely while in flight. The shield itself is made out of Vibranium (predecessor to adamantium, aka wolverine’s claws), which makes it indestructible by any normal means. His costume is made of Kevlar and titanium, making it completely bulletproof and fire retardant.
Weaknesses
Captain America is kind of in a transition between human and superhuman. No one on Earth can hope to compete with him, but a superhuman would have no problem overpowering him. This is a problem, because did you see that guy above him? Yeah, you did, and you know who would win that fight. His intelligence will serve him well against some of the dumber, greener guys though.

The Hulk
The angrier he gets, the stronger he gets. I hope he didn’t spend money on The Devil Inside, because he could level Detroit with that kind of rage.
Character Background
When Bruce Banner was a young boy, his father hated him and his mother’s affections for Bruce so much that he murdered his wife and was sent to a mental hospital. Bruce decided to do the right thing and bottled all that rage and pain he was feeling so he could continue his life as a parentless child prodigy. As an adult, however, he developed the first gamma bomb, which is like a nuke with less explosive power and more radiation. During the first test, he was forced to run into the unsafe zone to save a dumbass civilian who wandered in there. He saved the dumbass, but couldn’t get to safety in time and was hit with huge amounts of gamma radiation. Due to unknown factors in his DNA, he was not killed by the explosion, but was instead transformed into a green monster fueled by rage with unlimited strength.
Powers and Abilities
Remember how up in Thor’s power section it was mentioned that he was the second strongest being in the world? That’s only because the Hulk is also on that world. He’s been shown holding a planet’s tectonic plates together, tearing through a bunker designed to withstand thousands of megatons of explosive force, supporting a 150 billion ton mountain (with leverage, of course) and picking up Thor’s hammer. And no, he’s not worthy; I guess an incredibly powerful enchantment from the central god of pagan mythology can’t stop the Hulk from picking up whatever he damn well pleases. This incredible strength is also carried into his legs, allowing him to leap hundreds of miles and run up to 700 MPH. His durability is also extreme, but connected to his anger, so while he has survived a blast from Galactus before, that’s not his absolute power level. Even in a calmed state, however, the only metals able to pierce his skin are adamantium and vibranium. On top of this, he can heal himself very quickly from injuries, and he never gets tired so he can fight for days. It has been said before that the Hulk is basically immortal.
Weaknesses
The Hulk is a slow, dumb motherfucker. By slow, I mean he can’t dodge anything. By dumb, I mean his entire fighting style revolves around him doing two things:  1.) Chasing the enemy   2.) Punching the enemy. His power is derived entirely from how angry he is too, so if you can calm him down and kill him quickly before he gets pissed, you could potentially get an easy kill. However once he’s really angry, he’s going to be a bastard in every sense of the word.



Carnage
Why is this guy here and not Spiderman? Because it took Spiderman, Venom, and the Fantastic Four teaming up to take this guy down.
Character Background
Cletus Kasady was born a homicidal maniac. He killed his grandmother, tortured his dog, pushed a classmate in front of a moving bus, and burned down an orphanage. While he was serving 11 consecutive prison sentences for murder in every degree, he got transferred to the same cell as Eddie Brock, who was waiting for the Venom symbiote to come and help him break out. When it came, it gave birth to another symbiote, and during the prison riot, it bonded with Kasady. He used his power to go on a violent killing spree, always leaving his callsign, “Carnage Rules,” at the crime scene written in his own blood.
Powers and Abilities
Carnage has many of the normal superhuman powers, enough strength to lift 80 tons, speed, agility, ect. He’s durable enough to withstand huge falls and anti-tank rifle cartridges, and he can regenerate most damage in seconds. On top of this regeneration is the ability to absorb living things’ life force at his touch, allowing him to augment his regenerative capabilities and power himself up. He can run on most surfaces and shoot webbing just like Spiderman too. One of his most useful powers is his shape-shifting ability, which lets him transform sections of his body into weapons like tentacles or blades. He can also project spikes from anywhere on his body, as well use as other projectile attacks.
Weaknesses
As a Symbiote, fire and sonic attacks are this guy’s ultimate weakness, with either of them rendering him helpless. However, because he is not too well known outside of Spiderman comics, the only guy who will know this is Mister Fantastic. Everyone else will have to fight this guy the old fashioned way; by kicking the shit out of him before he kicks the shit out of them.

Silver Surfer
This guy probably has the saddest life of any superhero or villain before him, with his entire life being filled with hatred and betrayal towards him. He’s had numerous potential lovers killed and very few lasting friendships that didn’t end with someone trying to steal his powers. It’s a miracle he hasn’t gone postal yet.
Character Background
Born on a technologically advanced alien planet as Norrin Radd, the Surfer’s early life wasn’t too out of the ordinary from anyone else on his planet. His mother committed suicide, but he wasn’t traumatized or anything, and his father still pushed him to pursue the knowledge of the universe. Then, as an adult, an alien spacecraft piloted by Galactus came to his planet and threatened destruction. In exchange for sparing his own planet, Radd agreed to become a herald of Galactus, looking for suitable planets for him to eat. Galactus gave him the power cosmic and the appearance best known as the silver surfer.
Powers and Abilities
The Silver Surfer has the power cosmic, which allows him to control all of the fundamental forces of the universe. This means that he can do pretty much anything. He can do normal stuff, like channel his energy to make him extremely strong and fast, and shoot extremely powerful blasts of energy, but he can also rearrange matter on a molecular level, even going so far as to transmute elements. There is essentially no limit to the things the Silver Surfer can do with his powers. His skin and surfboard are made of “Galactic Glaze,” which means it’s damn near indestructible. He also has refined senses that can be used to detect any incoming danger, sort of like a spider sense that gives him more than half a second to react.
Weaknesses
While not having any real weaknesses, the Silver Surfer has very little to no close combat skills whatsoever, relying completely on his mastery of the universal energies. This means that if a guy like the Hulk gets close enough to grab the bastard, he is suddenly very vulnerable to multiple face-smashings. Other than that, this guy is like a cosmic Iron Man; generally awesome in most every department of awesomeness.

Magneto
If I went through the stuff this guy did, I’d probably hate humanity too.
Character Background
If Silver Surfer has the saddest life of anyone, then Magneto is a close second. After spending his teenage years working in the chemical shower department of Auschwitz, he got out and married his longtime love under a new identity in the Soviet Union. Then, the KGB came along and burned his daughter alive before him. This is when he first got pissed enough to destroy everything around him with his powers. His wife also ran away and died because of how scared she was, so he got to bury his child alone. After this, he spent his time refining his powers and hunting Nazis for the CIA, until he went postal, donned a costume, and started the Brotherhood of Evil mutants.
Powers and Abilities
His obvious power is that he can control metal and magnetic fields, but he can use this in ways that you couldn’t imagine. His most prominent defensive power is to create a magnetic force field around him, the power of which is immense; as in able to absorb nuclear blasts. He can also repel himself from the earth to achieve flight at speeds very near the speed of light. He can also manipulate metal particles on the subatomic level, allowing him to create metal objects from the air around him, and even to control non-metal objects by surrounding the object with metal particles and moving the metal particles around it. He can even manipulate the iron in people’s bodies, disorienting them and possibly knocking them unconscious. His speed, strength, and agility can also be enhanced by channeling magnetic currents through him. He can lift in excess of 100 tons in good health. Besides his magnetic powers, he can also control any energy along the electromagnetic spectrum, including radiation and electricity. He’s also immune to telepathy, and has military training in strategy and tactics.
Weaknesses
Magneto’s weakness is exponential, because the weaker he is physically, the less he can use his powers. This means that he will be able to do anything at the start of a battle, but the more abuse he takes the less dangerous he becomes. You could argue that it is like that for everyone on this list, but pretty much everyone else has enough stamina to fight until his heart stops beating, and even then there’s a small chance that they’ll rip their own heart out and punch it until it starts beating again. Magneto cannot do this, so he’ll have to kill them while he’s at full power to win the fight.

Mr. Fantastic
Often described as one of the smartest people in the Marvel universe, Mr. Fantastic may be the most infuriating opponent to face because of his ability to fuck up any attack you throw at him.
Character Background
Dr. Reed Richards was a child prodigy who had particular aptitude in Math, Physics, and Mechanics. This gave him an ambition to create a starship for interstellar travel, which he eventually did build. When testing the starship, however, the shielding proved inadequate against the radiation caused by a solar flare, and he and his counterparts in the flight gained special powers. They learned to control their powers and became the Fantastic Four, with Richards as their unofficial leader.
Powers and Abilities
Mr. Fantastic is able to convert his body into a highly malleable state of matter. He can stretch hundreds of feet, bounce bullets off his body, and dissipate into a semi-liquid form that allows him to fit through tiny spaces. His body is basically immune to any kind of cuts of piercings, and he can even absorb explosions with his body. He can also alter his size and density to become nearly as strong and dense as the Thing. He can do this to specific parts of his body, allowing him to create giant hammers on his fists and springs on his feet to get around. He has a limited flight ability, that basically boils down to him sling-shotting into the air and transforming into an aerodynamic shape to glide with. Besides the ridiculous amount of uses that he has with his body, he is also a genius of epic proportions, with the cosmic radiation enhancing his already huge intellect. This will likely allow him to find and exploit weaknesses of other people.
Weaknesses
Extreme temperature is a good way to stop him (preferably freezing, because he could probably pull off a T-1000 if he melts,) as regular attacks of any kind will bounce off him doing no damage. He is also not very offensive in his abilities, so while he can take a huge amount of punishment, he can’t dish out too much. Other than that, there’s not very many ways to hurt him, as even adamantium would be stopped or dodged by him.


Sunday, January 8, 2012

DC Characters

DC Characters

Superman
What can you say about this guy? He’s the most iconic comic book character ever, he’s saved earth a stupid number of times, and… he’s fucking Superman!
Character Background
Born as Kal-El (or Kal-L, depending on what universe you’re in) on the planet Krypton, he was rocketed to Earth as an infant by his mother and father just before his home world was destroyed. He flew through space until he landed in Smallville, U.S.A., where the Kent family adopted him and gave him the name, “Clark.” His powers became evident at an early age, but luckily his adoptive parents gave him a very strong moral code, which is why we have superhero instead of a megalomaniac. As he grew up he decided to fight crime disguised as the unmistakable symbol of peace and justice; Superman.
Powers and Abilities
Superman has a power for pretty much every situation. He can fly faster than a speeding bullet, which is very fast, but not the fastest out of superheroes. He also has super strength, able to toss cars like baseballs at anyone he needs dead. His body is also extremely dense, able to shake off direct hits from mortar shells and other explosives. He also has various vision powers, like heat vision, x-ray vision, and infrared (he’s like Predator with eyebeams!) as well as super hearing. He can even blow air at a tremendous rate, sometimes able to freeze whatever he’s aiming at. His powers are derived from direct sunlight, which is a major advantage, since he can recharge continuously on a nice day, and on a cloudy day he can just fly above the clouds.
Weaknesses
By far the most potent weakness Superman has is that of kryptonite, which is radioactive pieces of his home world Krypton. Fortunately for him, most of his opponents won’t have access to it, so he’s going to be a tough kill. Slashes and stabs will have very limited effect on him, since he’s so damn dense. The best way to take him down is blunt force, or even shockwaves, since getting him to stumble is going to be a major part in stopping him from recovering his power. Very fast, concentrated attacks are going to be necessary to take down this beast of a man.


Martian Manhunter

Undoubtedly one of the most underrated and underappreciated characters in superhero history, this guy has been called the most powerful being on the face of the Earth by Superman, who is not known for his modesty.
Character Background
Not too much is known about this guy, other than the obvious green-skinned Martian part. He got to Earth due to a botched communication attempt made by a scientist, which ended up teleporting Manhunter to Earth. The encounter gave the scientist a heart attack, which killed him, so Manhunter figured that since he was stuck here, he might as well be a superhero until his buddies on Mars come and pick him up. He took up the identity of a man named John Jones (though he spells it J’onn J’onzz for some reason) and has been kicking ass with the Justice League ever since.
Powers and Abilities
This guy is like a jacked up version of Superman as far as his powers go. He has pretty much all of Superman’s powers, including his strength, flight, speed, vision powers, breath, and invulnerability, and all to about the same degree as Superman himself. On top of those, he can also shapeshift, allowing him to grow, shrink, or change his shape to a form more suitable to a situation. This shapeshifting also allows him to regenerate parts of himself by absorbing the mass of anything, including straight from Earth, and morphing it into a fully functional body part he was previously without for whatever reason. He also has telepathy, so he can read the mind of anyone unable to resist it. Also, he can become intangible and pass through solid objects. More Also, he can become invisible, but at the expense of most of his powers. Still More Also, he can absorb energy beams and waves and such. Finally done? Goodness, with this list of powers, why not give him the win right now…
Weaknesses
Unfortunately, he’s weak to fire, a very common and easy to make substance. By weak to fire, I mean he gets hurt by small amounts, and turns into a green goo with large amounts. Because of this he is also (very reasonably so) pyrophobic, and will think much less about fighting and much more about getting the fuck away from his death substance, allowing his enemy to get in a few good hits. Anyone who knows this will be able to exploit it endlessly, possibly even using it to kill him once and for all.

The Flash

Often dismissed as simply “the really fast guy” Flash actually possesses a number of speed related powers that most don’t know about. He is really fast though. Like really really fast. Remember the end of Superman where he flys around the earth fast enough to go back in time? He can actually do that, except faster.
Background Information
Barry Allen was a simple forensic scientist with a reputation for being slow, deliberate, and often late, when one night, a lightning bolt struck a case full of chemicals, spilling their contents all over his body. When he woke up, he found he could run extremely fast, so he donned a red costume and fought crime as…
THE FLASH!
Powers and Abilities
The Flash’s powers all have to do with speed, and because of how fucking fast he is they are actually very useful. For one, he can run faster than the speed of light on cruise, and up to ten times the speed of light if he is pushing himself to his absolute limit (though he never gets that fast because of how dangerous it is to himself and everyone around him. For comparison, the Sun’s light, which is 93 million miles from Earth, gets to Earth in just over 8 minutes. The friction from him moving that fast would light the air around him on fire. His reflexes are equally as fast, making him quite possibly the hardest bastard to hit with an attack. He can also vibrate his body fast enough to phase through solid matter, which also allows him to explode matter (heads) by phasing his hand through it and turning off the vibrations (or whatever he does) while it’s still inside. He also has an accelerated healing factor, and can heal from injuries almost instantaneously.  He is even immune to mind reading, since he can shift his thoughts faster than anyone can read them. And yes, he can run fast enough to travel back in time, but that has no practical use during a fight like this. Unless of course he wants to go back in time and kill his opponent before the fight starts, but that’s cheating, and the Dude does not abide cheating.
Weaknesses
While he doesn’t have any hardcore weaknesses like the two guys above, one disability he has that others could take advantage of is his inability to fly. He can run up buildings like a mother, which he could conceivably use to get some height, but he has very little control at that point, and he’s much more vulnerable in the air than on the ground. He can’t even jump very high, so he’s purely a ground fighter. Luckily, his speed and reflexes will make it nearly impossible for anyone high enough to stay away from him to hit him with anything, and Flash never gets tired, so they’ll have to come down eventually.


The Green Lantern

So he’s got a cool ring, why does that make him so special?
Character Background
As a boy, Hal Jordan idolized his father, who was a test pilot at a military air base. He then got to see him die in a plane crash. Fun stuff. Despite this experience, he still followed in his father’s footsteps and joined the air force. Years later, an alien crash-landed on Earth and Hal was the first to try to help him, to no avail. The dead alien’s power ring chose Hal as its next wearer for his ability to overcome his fears. HE agreed, and became a member of the Green Lantern Corps, and eventually the Justice League.
Powers and Abilities
All of his powers come from his power ring, which derives its power from the wearer’s willpower. All of the offensive and defensive capabilities of this ring are limited by Hal Jordan’s willpower. I said that twice to emphasize it, because that’s the only limiting factor in its power. It can surround Jordan with a force field, complete with life support capabilities. It also allows him to fly, and this ability can be used in conjunction with his other abilities as well (most abilities can only be used one at a time.)  The ring can also make various weapons, like hammers and maces, come out of it, and the size of the weapons are limited only by his imagination and willpower. The most potent offensive ability, however, stems from its ability to shoot plasma beams out of it, with intensities that are limited by… you get the idea.
Weaknesses
The Green Lantern‘s only weakness is that he can’t use his abilities simultaneously, which can be very limiting since his main defensive ability is incompatible with his offensive abilities. Of course, without willpower, Hal Jordan is powerless, but when you have what is consistently described as the “most powerful weapon in the universe” at your disposal, you can get cocky, which might make you a bit of a dick, but Jordan rarely admits defeat because of it, which allows his ring to stay powerful in the worst of situations.

Batman

One of the only characters in comic book history to have kept a consistent story and appearance since his first appearance, Batman has no superpowers, but has enough training and equipment to be a threat to most any being in the world.
Character Background (Seriously, who doesn’t know this story at this point?)
When Bruce Wayne was just a boy, he saw his parents get shot and killed in front of him, and the killer was never caught. Because of this, he became dedicated to training his mind and body to fight crime to the best of anyone’s ability. At age 14 he started traveling the world, studying at various universities and under many martial arts instructors, so that by age 18, he was at peak physical conditioning and one of the smartest men in the world. When he set off to fight, crime, he felt something was missing, so he used his childhood fear of bats as inspiration for his costume. Also he’s a billionaire.
Equipment and Abilities
Batman is one of the few superheroes that has no inherent superhuman abilities. Despite this, he has the longest list of abilities I have ever seen. He can bench press over a thousand pounds, run as fast as an Olympic athlete, dodge a bullet from point blank range, and beat out a master ninja in a test of agility. His endurance is also crazy, able to hold his breath for over 3 minutes and continue to fight unfazed by multiple gunshot wounds. He also has enough willpower to wield the ring of a green lantern if necessary. He is a master of stealth, martial arts, and marksmanship, so he can get into a room undetected, take out the first three guys with throwing knives, and knock out the last 8 with his fists. As far as intellect goes, he is a genius in every science ever used in solving a crime anywhere, he is a master tactician, and he is an expert at escaping from sticky situations. As far as equipment goes, to say he is “packing” would be an understatement of the highest degree. His batsuit is composed mainly of Kevlar with bits of titanium, so it’s bullet-proof, explosion resistant, flame retardant, and radiation resistant (it also has lead.) His gloves and boots have been designed to rebound with the impact of his punches and kicks, and he has retractable blades on his forearms as well. His cape can be used to glide, and his mask has a bunch of hearing and vision enhancements, including, x-ray, sonar, telescopic, infrared, and night vision. Finally done? Nope, because he also has a belt with tons of fun stuff in it, like plastic explosives, a grappling hook, nerve-gas pellets, and different types of batarangs, like some that can electrocute on impact. He even has a kryptonite ring given to him by Superman in case he was ever used for evil. Boy is he going to regret that decision.
Weaknesses
All of Batman’s weaknesses stem from his lack of superpowers. He may be strong, but compared to Superman he’s nothing, and his speed is less than nothing compared to The Flash. His intellect is one that is great enough to find solutions to many of these problems, mainly because most superheroes have some specific weakness he can exploit, but it’s going to be very hard for him to counter someone who has no exploitable weaknesses…

Captain Atom

Possibly the most unknown character on this list, Captain Atom is actually one of most powerful beings in the universe at this point in time, but for fairness sake I’m using him from the time before he absorbed 51 versions of himself and gained the power to create and destroy universes… because that’s insane.
Character Background
Nathanial Adam was an Air Force officer in Vietnam who was framed for a crime he didn’t do and sentenced to death. Instead of execute him normally, however, the government put him inside an alien spacecraft and explode a nuke directly below it, because fuck him apparently. The metal from the spacecraft melded into his skin and the energy from the blast sent him forward in time 20 years. When he came back, he found he had the power to absorb and control any type of energy in any way he wanted.
Powers and Abilities
Captain Atom’s most potent ability is his ability to absorb and control energy of any form. The more energy he absorbs, the more powerful he becomes, so any energy-based attacks will serve no other purpose than to help him win. His manipulation abilities can be used for many ways, force fields, energy blasts, ect. But what will really set him apart from everyone else is his ability to duplicate living organisms, including superheroes. If he’s fighting Martian Manhunter, than he can create a fully functional version of Martian Manhunter to fight on his side, albeit not quite as strong as the original. He can also “detonate,” which is him releasing massive amounts of energy into what is essentially a nuclear explosion with him at the epicenter. He can also convert the energy into increased strength and speed for himself, as well as the ability to fly. These abilities come from his metallic armor made from the spacecraft that he was in when he got the powers, and the armor itself is basically a set of Superman skin in that it’s damn hard to get through.
Weaknesses
Captain Atom’s power does not come without any consequences, however, as he has a tendency to make random quantum leaps in time and space whenever he has absorbed a particularly large amount of energy. While it won’t kill him outright, this will count as a loss for Atom, and wherever and whenever he ends up, Galactus and Doomsday will be there to kill him for good.

Cyborg

Better known through his tenure with the Teen Titans, later in his career Cyborg actually became an integral member of the Justice League once Martian Manhunter went back to his homeworld.
Character Background
Victor Stone’s parents were scientists, and used him as a test subject for various intelligence-enhancing procedures. He eventually grew to resent this, however, and fell into a rough crowd of miscreants, where he got into trouble on many occasions. One day, however, he visited his parents at their laboratory while they were conducting an experiment in dimensional travel (which, studies show, have a 80% chance of creating a superhero one way or another.) Something bad happened, and suddenly an octopus from Hellboy was there, and it killed Victor’s mother. It then went for Victor, and it horrifyingly mutilated him before Vic’s father forced it back through the portal. His father saved him by equipping him with various cybernetic enhancements, which he eventually learned to use with superhuman results.
Powers and Abilities
Cyborg possesses a number of abilities normally associated with Cyborgs. For example; his cybernetic enhancements provide a natural body armor, and he can lift in excess of 4 tons without straining himself. He’s also very fast and can jump very far. His bones have also been reinforced with molybdenum, which is a very strong and dense metal, so he has what is essentially a second set of armor underneath his skin. His cybernetic eye can see in infrared, and he can hear much better than normal humans as well. His most useful ability, however, is his ability to shape-shift into pretty much any mechanical vehicle, including tanks and aircraft. This shape-shifting can also be used on individual parts of his body allowing his feet to turn into jets and his arm to turn into laser cannons, among other things.
Weaknesses
Cyborg doesn’t have any real weaknesses. He’s probably one of the most well balanced participants in this tournament, defensively anyways. I suppose he’s most vulnerable at close range against one of the stronger guys, but he’s not exactly defenseless there either. I guess the best way to kill him is to just bash him into oblivion. Fun.

Wonder Woman

Make sure all children are out of the room when Google image searching wonder woman…
Character Background
Alright, Wonder Woman’s backstory is insane. Her mother was Hyppolyta, she was born out of some clay with the soul of an unborn lady-fetus, and the clay was infused with powers endowed to her by the Greek pantheon. Also, she was born on an Amazon island of pure women (hell) and came to America as an ambassador who didn’t speak any English. Told you.
Powers and Abilities
She’s got super human strength on par with Superman, and durability to match (though she is more susceptible to non-energy/magic based attacks.) She also has an accelerated healing factor from her Amazonian race. She’s very fast too; second only to the Flash within the Justice League, with reflexes that match it. She uses these reflexes in conjunction with her indestructible bracelets to block any attack. She is immune to telepathy and proficient with nearly any weapon ever made. She also has enhanced senses and is a master strategist. Her intelligence is second only to Batman, and her wisdom is second to Manhunter. She also wields the lasso of truth, which is one of the dumbest weapons ever created, and is only useful in that it is indestructible unless the truth is challenged, so she can bind people with it. Her tiara can also be used as a weapon, and is sharp enough to cut Superman. Also, she can fly.
Weaknesses
Her major weakness is that she can be hurt by piercing weapons and attacks. She still has a degree of defense against it, and her bracelets can deflect most of the attacks, however something as simple as bullets can hurt her. Her ability to take concussive force is huge though, as she’s been able to survive a blast from a nuke. She also has an oddly specific and archaic weakness that, while situational, can be a major weakness; she loses her powers when her hands are bounded voluntarily by a man. It won’t really be a problem in this tournament, but it’s interesting to note.




Marvel guys should be done by next weekend, then the tournament can start.